her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
