ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
