Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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