bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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