We won't sleep together?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
