I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I look better un-naked...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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