Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
