butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
