Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
