Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I have fence marks all over my body
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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