Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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