I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
