i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize