You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Randomize
