I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize