You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
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