where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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