why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
