Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
