Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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