Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
