so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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