The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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