Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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