I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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