he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
