do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
