I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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