I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
