i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
soo... how was my night?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
