we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
