Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
