he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
