normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
cat food counts as protein by the way
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
