everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
