Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
