am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
