If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
