i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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