smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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