I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
