You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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