I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
