Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
