Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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