Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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