hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
