3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
