Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
