okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
