At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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