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You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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