I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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