I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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