If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Soap is not a condiment
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize