..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
