I wanna bring you to show and tell
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You dont lie about slip and slides
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
