Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
