you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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