Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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