He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
