Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
