Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
love makes seman taste better
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
