problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
