Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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