It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
