i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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