when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
