well I can't set my house on fire every night
honey bunches of taint.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
