FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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