the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize