I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
